essays that worked with reviews
I would wish other student would get this guidance. I feel that these essays were “first drafts” with ideas but no guidance to refine them.
The purpose of the essay is to reveal something personal about yourself to the admissions committee that isn’t conveyed elsewhere in the application. The first essay didn’t work because it was analysis of the merits of two versions of a song. I’m surprised that the crossword puzzle essay was offered as an essay that worked — it seems unoriginal, forced, overly dramatic, self-coscious. I read plenty of those as an admissions officer. The debate one worked because it revealed the author as an observant, empathetic and mature person. And for jello — I think that could have been a very funny essay with some good editing, and perhaps may have revealed the author as a quirky kid with a good sense of humor.
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Anyone can write about how they won the big game or the summer they spent in Rome. When recalling these events, you need to give more than the play-by-play or itinerary. Describe what you learned from the experience and how it changed you.